57 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual content, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.
Ryan wakes up to a call from Shelby O’Sullivan, the wife of the captain of the hockey team; she is 10 minutes away from the house. Shelby runs into Tess when she is dropping off food for Ryan, and Tess comes off as rude to Shelby but claims she is just having a bad day. While Tess, Ryan, and Shelby are in the kitchen, Tess’s phone rings multiple times, but she refuses to answer it, snapping at Ryan when he brings it to her attention. After Tess leaves, Shelby tells Ryan that she doesn’t seem like “WAG material” and warns him that Tess will break his heart.
Ilmari picks up Tess to meet with the three other members of the non-profit, and she tries hard not to start crying in front of him as Troy continues to call her. Tess ultimately admits to Ilmari that Shelby looks very much like Troy’s secretary, with whom she caught him cheating, so she was thrown by Shelby’s appearance moments before.
Rachel told Ilmari that Tess might be having a hard day because the divorce papers were finally delivered to Troy, so he has promised to bring her right to Rachel when they are done with the meeting. The next time Troy calls, Tess asks Ilmari to answer, but Ilmari suggests that she simply ignore it. Tess flings her phone out of the window of the moving car and into the ocean, finally feeling some relief.
Ryan gets a call from his sister, Cassie, who is calling to ask for money. Though she does this routinely, Ryan always begrudgingly grants her requests.
Tess and Ilmari pull up to the beach, where they meet the other members of the Northshore Turtle Crew, Joey Ford and Cheryl and Nancy Lemming. Joey, Cheryl, and Nancy give Tess all of the information they know about turtles, yet she is still unclear about what they want out of the non-profit. At Tess’s suggestion, they narrow down their focus to saving the local dunes that protect the sea turtles, calling their organization Out of the Net.
The new members of Out of the Net figure out what their duties will be over lunch. Afterward, Tess buys a temporary phone and makes Ilmari her first call. When she gets home, she gets in the shower and begins to masturbate. She continues outside of the shower, using one of her vibrators; she is too distracted to hear Ryan’s knock at the door.
Ryan enters to find Tess naked once again. She berates him for barging in, but he explains that he was worried about her because she wasn’t answering her phone and because he saw a strange car (her rental) in the driveway. Ryan asks why she didn’t say she was home, and Tess feels bad about her earlier behavior around Shelby, eventually admitting to Ryan that she was spooked because Shelby looks like Troy’s mistress. She also tells him about serving Troy the divorce papers and throwing her phone into the ocean.
Ryan worries that Troy knows she is in Jacksonville, as he will surely guess that she is staying with the Prices. Ryan offers her the keys to his place, but Tess admits that she wants to stay here with him, leading Ryan to kiss her. As they kiss, Tess asks Ryan to finish what she started in the shower, and he tells her to get on the bed.
Ryan approaches Tess on the bed but feels pain as he steps on his bad knee, and Tess asks him to stop. Tess apologizes to Ryan for pushing him to do anything with her, surprising Ryan, who has always wanted her. She tells him about how lonely she’s felt, and Ryan comforts Tess as she begins to cry. Ryan says that they should hold off on the obvious attraction between them, and they fall asleep together watching TV in Ryan’s bed. When Ryan wakes up the next morning, Tess is gone.
Tess shows Ilmari and Caleb an office space that she wants to use for Out of the Net, but this upsets Ilmari, who feels he has already given the non-profit the only thing he can give (his money). He doesn’t want to make any of the decisions for the non-profit, believing he is not qualified to do anything other than play hockey. When Ilmari storms out, Caleb apologizes to Tess for him, asking her not to abandon him because Ilmari really needs a friend right now.
A few hours later, Tess gets a call from her lawyer, Charlie Putnam, who says Troy hasn’t yet given his response to the official divorce papers but has been harassing Charlie and threatening to report Tess missing. Troy has been desperate to get Tess in touch with his mother, Bea, who he believes can be a mediator in the relationship. Not wanting to get Troy involved any further, Tess asks Charlie to connect her with Bea right away.
Ryan watches as his team gets on the plane for another game without him. On the way out, Jake tells Ryan to keep an eye on Tess, as he knows they can trust him not to take advantage of her.
Someone tells Ryan that Mark Talbot, the team’s general manager, wants to see him. Ryan is nervous to meet Mark, but the manager immediately offers him a contract extension; he is especially impressed with Ryan’s Nike deal. Ryan is a little anxious, as he has never negotiated a contract without his agent present, but Mark has already sent his agent all of the paperwork and tells Ryan to let him know if the pay he has proposed doesn’t work for him, saying that he should fight for what he is worth.
Tess is connected to her mother-in-law’s phone, and Bea immediately offers to bring her “home.” Bea tells Tess that she is enraged about what happened at the HR meeting (thus unknowingly revealing that Troy lied about her involvement in putting Tess on leave). However, Tess is surprised when Bea blames Dale, the head of HR, for forcing Tess to take administrative leave. Tess clarifies that it is not Dale’s fault but Troy’s and that he is lying even to his own mother. However, Bea refuses to believe Tess, insisting that she is the one who is being cruel. Tess tells Bea everything that Troy has done to her and says that she will never see him again. Tess also refuses to tell her where she is because she can’t trust her not to tell Troy. Nevertheless, when Tess asks Bea to set aside her loyalty to Troy, Bea agrees to help Tess get Troy to sign the divorce papers.
After fighting with Ilmari and Bea, Tess is happy to see Ryan. She comes home to see him playing video games with some of the team rookies who didn’t get to go to the game. Ryan tells Tess about his contract extension, and Tess offers to take him out to celebrate. They tease one another about whether this will be a date, and Tess says it can be for tonight.
As they are about to go out for their date, Tess spots the contract that Ryan was given and suggests that he read it alongside his agent. They have dinner and walk on the beach together as Ryan wonders where their relationship is going. As they stroll, Ryan asks Tess when she knew her marriage was over.
Tess is somewhat surprised by how deep Ryan’s question is, but she tells him about a time five years earlier when Troy made her feel completely invisible. Ryan correctly assumes that Tess has felt invisible all her life, and Tess tells him more about her difficult childhood. Ryan tells Tess that since they met, she has been the only thing he has seen. Tess hesitates, and Ryan begs her to stop closing herself off. In response, Tess admits that she is only in Jacksonville because of him.
Tess clarifies that she is in Jacksonville because of what happened with the pictures that were taken of them at Rachel’s wedding. She tells Ryan that Troy’s ultimatum has forced her to choose her career or her happiness. Ryan knows that Troy must have done something after the HR meeting to scare her away to Jacksonville, and he feels gutted when he learns that Troy choked her. Ryan tries to get Tess to report Troy to the police and get a restraining order, feeling like his involvement makes this his problem, too. However, Tess asks him to let her do things her own way. Tess continues to pull away, admitting that she was partially using Ryan to make Troy go through with the divorce and to force herself to start her life over, but says she cannot continue to use Ryan now that they are friends.
Tess feels terrible after admitting the truth, though she knows she had to tell Ryan everything. When they are back at the house, Ryan tells Tess to use him—not to hurt Troy but to make herself feel good. They agree to become friends with benefits, as Ryan knows she can’t offer more. Tess agrees, and they begin to have sex.
As they have sex, Ryan promises that he will never hurt Tess, which she says she knows is true. Once they are finished, Tess gets a surprisingly late phone call from Rachel and panics seconds after she answers.
Rachel tells Tess that the paparazzi got hold of pictures of Tess with Jake when she first arrived in Jacksonville and that now they are speculating that Jake is cheating. Tess visits the following morning and is indignant, but Rachel is much calmer, knowing that there is no truth to the rumors. Rachel only worries about what this will do to Tess, thinking that these pictures will lead Troy to find her in Jacksonville.
As Rachel and Tess walk on the beach, Ilmari approaches and confronts Tess about an invitation he received to a black-tie gala he is hosting for Out of the Net. Ilmari tries to argue; he wants donations from people concerned about the environment, not wealthy elites, and he doesn’t like being the center of attention, as advertised in the invitation. However, Tess reminds him that he told her to make all the decisions. Ilmari’s insecurity begins to show, but Rachel and Tess reassure him that everything will go well.
Tess returns home and finds the house full of smoke and Ryan in the kitchen attempting to make a dish she has been teasing him about trying. Ryan feels dejected that he couldn’t get the meal right, especially as it was meant as an apology for trying to tell her what course to take when she told him about Troy’s behavior. Tess doesn’t need Ryan to apologize but appreciates the gesture regardless, and they agree that their baggage shouldn’t get in the way of their friendship.
Tess takes Ryan into the sauna to relax, but he only feels hot and irritated. To make him feel better, Tess pulls out a few sex toys she brought with her for them to use on one another. Ryan knows that he would gladly give their relationship a real chance if Tess would let him.
The dynamics of Tess and Ryan’s relationship frequently change throughout these chapters: Tess and Ryan become friends and later friends with benefits, all while Ryan is hoping for something more from Tess, who continues to push him away. However, despite Tess’s difficulty Navigating Romantic Relationships After Trauma, the overall trend is toward greater physical and emotional intimacy. By the end of these chapters, they are close enough for Ryan to ask Tess when she knew her marriage was over—a personal and painful question. Tess and Ryan also become invested in one another’s lives, with Tess getting almost as excited as Ryan when she hears about his proposed contract extension. Even their teasing about whether their dinner constitutes a date suggests comfort with one another. In this context, sex adds a new layer to their relationship, becoming a motif that represents their connection and openness with one another—even if that is not how Tess and Ryan frame it.
However, their growing intimacy is best illustrated by their response to an obstacle that arises in their relationship: Tess’s confession about using Ryan to get back at Troy. Tess is sorry about using Ryan, underscoring her ability to introspect and calibrate her behavior accordingly. Ryan’s reaction is even more significant, as in the following chapter, Ryan tells her to “use him" for her own purposes. In accepting something Tess was ashamed of—even transforming it into a positive experience—Ryan signals his ability to respond compassionately to Tess’s trauma. His reaction also highlights the unconventional nature of their dynamic, which remains vital even as it officially becomes romantic; their relationship succeeds in part because they define it for themselves.
Tess’s other relationships also begin to change in this section of the novel, in tandem with her own character development. Her relationship with Troy changes in an official sense when she finally files their divorce papers, but she also begins to rethink her relationship to Troy and the boundaries she has tried to establish between them. Her discussion of her marriage with Ilmari marks a turning point in her arc, as he convinces her to throw her phone into the ocean—a symbolic rejection of any lingering hold Troy has over her. Tess’s conversation with Ilmari also demonstrates her shifting relationship with the Prices, which reflects the theme of Finding a Home and a Community. Rachel’s husbands begin to feel as Rachel does toward Tess, and she knows Ilmari, Jake, and Caleb will protect her just as Rachel would. At one point, Tess thinks, “I’m safe here with Rachel. I’m safe with her husbands. I’m safe with the Rays” (147), highlighting (and syntactically mirroring) how her circle of family is expanding beyond Rachel.
Tess also begins to find fulfillment outside of her prescribed career as she works on establishing the non-profit. Not only is Tess doing something for others, but she is also giving herself the chance to explore who she is outside of the role she was used to in Cincinnati. As she ventures further out of her typical sphere, Tess begins to realize just how constraining it has been, especially when she speaks with Bea. During their phone conversation, Tess sees the darker side of Bea that, in her desperation for a mother figure, she had tried to ignore: The way Bea puts Troy’s lies above Tess’s own safety gives Tess a clear picture of who Bea actually is. Although this realization is important to Tess’s development, in the aftermath of the call, Tess questions what home is and whether she ever had one with the Owenses—another sign of how her traumatic past continues to impact her.
Tess’s past haunts her in other ways as well. When she sees Shelby and nearly mistakes her for Troy’s mistress, Tess is noticeably startled and acts uncharacteristically toward both her and Ryan. The fact that Tess is so spooked, even knowing that Shelby is a completely different person, speaks to just how much her relationship with Troy is still influencing her. This is also apparent in Tess’s growing relationship with Ryan. As she is used to doing with Troy, Tess keeps bits of herself hidden from Ryan and initially tries to stay away from him so that another man can’t hurt her the way Troy did. Even once they agree to become friends with benefits, Tess tries to separate herself emotionally from Ryan, illustrating how much Troy has worn down her self-esteem and her feeling that she deserves a happy relationship.
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